Monday, December 13, 2010

Some Problem

This post has been moved backward 13 days as it does. I feel like this has to be done as like this. For what? Seems it is confidential, I guess. Ah! If only I can control more of my time. The husband got jealous of my PC and would not admit that he has problem when he sleep. I cannot control how he used to but just to find ways and means to handle the situation. Okay, this is the first time this matter being written in public. He does not want to let anyone know. I did not tell any of his children as I respect his privacy. I wanted to but then on the other side, it is better to follow his way as most of the time I do that. But this cannot be hidden for long time.  Now is the time. It would be me who got the problem in the end if this continued being hidden. Yes, he dreams most of the time at night now. How could I sleep that way? This was already when we were in bf-gf relationship but I never thought it would be as bad as this. Now it gets worse. What I do is that I made and make sure I have a lot of energy and always awake at night so I can hear and observe what he did/does. And I even made a video of him once and showed it to him as he didn't/doesn't care and believe it. Ooh well, he showed some way just like wrapping himself sometimes through his blanket but it never as always like that all night long. What I did/do is (I'll just make this as present tense though it is what I did in the past too) I just go on PC and do my blog thing and sometimes goes on facebook website just to see happy smiles on pictures of my virtual friends to entertain myself at the same time I can earn a little on my blogging e-sponsor. Now, that is his problem because he wants me to be with him on bed which I do and goes to PC after he fall asleep. I proclaim myself as his night guardian which he do not want to, he hates when I said that. He cannot accept the fact that he is not on his mind when he's dreaming. Not only just talking but more on action and shouting as if he has enemy and wanted to punch, kick and stuffs like that. One time I had a little bruise on my face near the eye as he punch me. Another time was on my hip side. Well, blame it to the dream and not him. I can do nothing when am tired so what I do is that morning is my sleeping time. The thing is he does not want to go to doctor. We (or most of the time it is only me) just a self-study how to solve it. I wanted to have another bed as when he fall asleep I will just sleep on the other bed as he could not directly do something while he is dreaming because am a bit far from him especially when he face on me while we sleep. The thing is we just have a small bedroom which could only occupy one bed. I wanted to sleep on the floor but he does not agree or even sleep at the couch. Ooh God, help me! He's starting to get mad at me because when he wakes up in the middle of the night or dawn time (hours before he got up, he got up at 5 am) I was not there with him. He could not understand the fact that I am guarding him when he's asleep. Ooh God help me with my major burden. I have many minor burdens too but that is nothing compared to this as he is my other half. As I am writing this, I am thinking if he would wake up and am not there in bed. And he would be mad then. Huhu. :( I have to be there now. Thanks for reading. Through this, I feel a little comfort. Thanks!




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